Un-Living the Residue.

Diving into 2023, head first.

Never am I not so taken aback to early days of covid. Because since then, how much life had changed for me, perhaps like everyone else. and for the past 12 months that had gone super fast, I recognize some residue of last year like those hyper vivid memories of recovering from unhealed wounds, navigating healthier friendships, rebuilding the image, shifting career plans. Few of which are hard to detach from. Honestly *sighs in millenial*

Crazy to think that I am 28 years young. Imagine that! In this head, I’m still that 20 year-old out in the world with a series of one-way tickets chasing wonders in places, mortgage-free, and everything. I truly miss it. Not just the freedom of being in many places but the idea of allowing oneself to fuck up coz they’re young. This had me expanding my gen-Z horizon more recently and how the table seems to have turned, not by much, for me to be able to meet certain expectations, like being looked up to and answer stuff like how to salvage dysfunctional relationships, what to choose for their first job, how much money they should put aside for first property, what kind of workout one should focus more on, which bars to go, or WTF is wrong with that part of that car and a million other adult stuff I have yet to fucking learn. There are more and more life skills and tricks to unlock each day.

On people. Among the many interesting turns I had to make, I was lucky there was a number of accidental encounters and how a few of those have led me to bad decisions and the inevitable at the end of the line – heartbreaks. Plural yep. There is enough pain for everyone involved in the stories to bring back home and sleep with. And as for me, I am learning to be less evil and fuck up less. There are certain great and horrible qualities I know in me I’d like to evaluate consistently and learn to navigate around.

On career. Uh…I officially resigned few days before Christmas (it matters!) after 2-3 years working for incredible tech companies…and others on the side. There was more to that world I have come to learn than what my silly mind thought I knew, like how to write even more concise emails and lead non-boring meetings, or avoid office politics at all costs unless one is planning on playing the long game. Me nah, it’s just a quick stop for me to trade my values and skills that are worth a few bucks until it’s time for me to build my hot empire and shit. And it’s fucking time. Maybe. After my naps.

There’s a few life-altering events from last year I wish I had the will to share here too. Maybe another time. // heheheh

I cannot tell the entire life plans because I’ve learned it’s easier to speak about your dream plans than executing them. In hindsight, I will be actively starting a few ventures this year across two major industries. I will also intend on keeping my nonprofit running and perhaps contribute more hands-on with other amazing NGOs. That and learning to become a content creator (I started doing music too) on the go like every one of my successful friends have shown. And learning to be comfortable with unnecessary extra attention and comments from strangers. And be more smiley in person 🙂

There is this part in life where I stopped questioning who I am tangled based on who I was yesterday. It’s a bad box to put yourself in and see the universe through. My mind is now set to try whatever it was scared to do out of toxic perfectionism and I am this ever-evolving abstract of things. But yes, I am committed to lead a braver life again. Fist forward. Fuck up less perhaps.

Okii – hugs!

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