(no title)

So uh,

do you still want me?

“no”

, said with confidence.

I took a long pause.

Shook and lost. Never was I prepared enough to hear it from you whom I thought would do everything in your power to make things work. Not this time. Maybe I was not worthy of your love or simply wanted too much.

My heart skipped a beat. Legs went sore. Brain suddenly got broken all the way. Everything in my body just had not learned well enough to respond to that just yet with each part wishing that it was an error.

My trajectory shifted quickly from trying to bring out the best out of our relationship to a sharp boomerang. From uncontrolled excitement of the things ahead of us to the inevitable downward spiral.

Your heart had always been the purest and kindest I’d known . My obsession to get better at a lot of things seemed to have gotten in the way and brought the poison into what we had built for quite a long time. Never did I wanted us to part ways and lose you.

That horror was slowly coming into reality.

Thought that I would stop at nothing to make it work and keep you by my side at all costs so we could have each other in hell. But until the word spilled, it was nothing but an apparent cue for me to stop chasing. So I did.

I am terribly sorry for ever thinking we both deserved better.

***