The Dick Thing

Someone specifically asked me to write about dick. Yes, dick.

In the last piece I wrote, I certainly did mention my secret wish, which would be a slightly different version of what Beyonce can’t have either: If I Were A Girl. 

Some background

I’m a 22 year-old man living in a semi-liberal, sometimes very conservative, society where the number of literate people can be considerably small. I’m talking about educated people who already understood the essence of equality and how each of that shit can be applied into real life. And what challenges one has to face to have a life they wish to have.

In my love life, I’ve dated some of the most strong, independent women whose battle is also to fight poverty, inequality, and all the stuff that are bigger than their love and family problems. I feel small. And I should.

I’ve listened enough number of stories from the same women whose dreams need to be let go of because of their gender. Their heart would tell them to chase those big dreams, but the society prefers them not to – sometimes. And it’s fair to say I know enough males who prefer throwing back the women into the kitchen dream (not that I’m opposed this view but it’s not good if it’s against their will). From where I see it, even in the country where education rules and women can do anything they want, this dick diplomacy still prevails. That if a woman decides to take a bold move on something, it would intimidate the man or it’s not what the ages-old belief system has taught them despite how long since we won the equality battle. It’s just, sigh, hard to be a good listener in this regard without getting so consumed. I wish I could change this narrative.

More about myself

By faith, I’m part of the majority in the country with the largest muslim population in the globe. Second, I have a dick that often defines my role in the way I should function in family and society, and sometimes at workplace.

Now, whenever my life life takes over, I’d remind myself to ask the following:

1. I have attractive physical traits. I don’t experience a lot of self-esteem issues for the way I was gifted. I don’t have to pay thousands of dollars to see a doctor and change a part of my body for an acceptable reason. I could wear anything and find a way to be comfortable in that.
2. I had access to a series of pretty decent education, although not the best, but enough to let me see the world and chew on the big problems with the brain I have. Not everyone could have this.
3. Never had I been discriminated in most places I go to, except if I were in some intolerable parts in the States. Nothing I wear would affect the way people treat me. I don’t get catcalls. Nor my life gets threatened in the street by some uneducated men who decided to ruin my future by inserting what they keep in their pants into something that’s not theirs.
4. If I decided to pitch my business to people with money, and most of them are the assholes with the dick, I wouldn’t get the sexual harassment a lot of women entrepreneurs would. Be it in the form of verbal, physical or even visual. Last time I spoke with friends, this shit still applies every fucking where.
5. Not having to come out to family and friends about my sexuality. The next day they would call me in different names that would make me hate my life.
6. If shit happens between two sexually active man and woman, I won’t be the person left with a thousand responsibilities of a human growing inside my body.
7. Not having to change the gender I was born in and must go through worse shit on a daily basis. To walk alone and being stared at uncomfortably.
8. Not having to worry to become the next victim of sex trafficking because my family in the village thinks it’s like winning the lottery to be sent abroad to work for a decent job when all I know is I’d be forced to serve unknown men 24/7 without dignity.
9. That I was raised in the environment where everyone encourages me to learn and pursue anything I want. Nobody, or system, will stop me.
10. That being said, I’ve benefitted immensely from the system that has run for a really long time.
11. I don’t have to wander around these questions: will I ever have kids? Whether or not the law allows me to live under one roof legally with someone I’ve fallen in love with the same gender.
12. Whether or not traveling to a place just outside my hometown is still an option.
13. Not having to have a male partner to get a cervical cancer screening. Before it’s too late.
14. Or facing the FGM because my family, my neighbors and everyone thinks it’s right.
15. I have a functioning dick. Chances for me to have babies is not an unaffordable luxury.
16. The list goes on…

Meaning: I already had more than what I could have.

That does not make me not want to speak up on their behalf, those who don’t tick enough boxes in the privilege questions list, especially those without a dick. But it’s not good when most of these stories are not mine to tell.

It’s not my story to tell. And yet it needs to be spoken. Loud and clear.