Check In

It’s absolutely an unavoidable need of every person to have a clear understanding of themselves.

The closest people in my circle and some other things have put enough pressure on me to finally make me see a doctor and talk to a group of people in search of something I should have cared to find forever ago. A few things I’ve found out about myself recently, although I seem to only scratch the surface, told me that the only way to make things better is to get real help. From here, I’ll try to renovate, or at the very least, renew the terms I’ve poorly made with myself.

• On behalf of my physical and mental health, after seeking advice from the expert, I need to do these things I’ve been doing more frequently to be able to stay awake.
• Life is too short to be everything. Now, that ‘you can be anything, but not everything’ phrase is true,  I could only hyperfocus my energy and time on my strength, things I know I’m really good at while exploring the other fun areas of my life. I should get better at getting away from distractions. I’m on it.
• Whatever my dreams today and tomorrow, family comes first. No excuse. When you’re a different person in the family, it’s hard, but extremely necessary, to manage expectations at home. I find it harder than anywhere else.
• Social media is fun only to some extent. It’s still important, but in my case, having taken this virtual life (re: my hyperactive social media) too seriously, has brought me to a place I shouldn’t be stuck in. I’m quitting temporarily until I’m done resolving the real shit in me.
• Having a job, working for something you care about to me is like taking a class at school. I invest in the lessons I’m learning, not the damn money. I have a long future waiting for me to apply everything I’ve learned. Excessive amount of money is there for people struggling to prove what they’re capable of. And I’m not.
• My default will still be Jakarta for the entire year. Gotta postpone a lot of travels and my plan to have a short life in a different continent. Again. For the third time.
• I’m learning some new languages and skills now. Spectacularly fun!
• Man I miss India terribly.
• I need to manage my finances more carefully. Promise myself to spend it more and more wisely.
• On top of everything, I really need to kick some serious ass this year.

I’ve checked in for today. Let this be a kind reminder for my future-self. Expect more of this.