Aggressively Naked

It’s been an exquisite boat ride so far, which led me to a few interesting discoveries I would start calling as my guru.

Looking back, I’ve always been an A-type planner with complete milestones of 5-year frame or 10. I was that kid whose life would have been brutally ended if he lost his agenda. Having walked in this type of shoes, my ability to work with pressure of time and goals has improved. Even after 10 years, I still embrace the pressure of getting there while eating good Sate in the middle of green rice fields, possessing the tendency to squeeze time and place just so I can move onto the next one. Getting the shit done as quickly as I can. My formula goes the same like every other kid: if I know well how to put every form of distraction aside and pursue that unstoppable figure in my head, I can be anything. But the turns I had to take on the life I’m building now can only get more challenging.

Standing from where I am now, I see that all the roads that have taken my trailblazer-self here were putting different wardrobes, not even clothes, on me. Even wardrobes on the other wardrobes, glued perfectly that they become harder to put off when I need to. I figured, it occurs to everyone I know. We all wear in different collection of clothes-heavy backpacker, CEO, writer, an ivy league graduate, best artist of the year, scientist, top researcher, entrepreneur or student-that comes with different privileges of course. My point is, whatever you’re wearing at this moment, doubled, tripled with different ones, it’s hard to take them off even just to take a shower for a while. It’s heating up and overwhelming. In the world where our identity is sadly represented by something as tiny as those clothes, I felt the urge to get naked again. Yes, naked.

Naked = reset to zero. Rebuilding.

I love learning. The death of me would become the day I will feel I’ve learned enough. I’m seriously more horrified to be stuck in that snob bubble than to see Valak in person. Especially when we’re reassured after having achieved a few things in life. I, on the other hand, want to be kindly reminded that I know nothing more than 1% of this gigantic universe. So I’ll keep pushing myself to learn what’s there, to unstoppably question and to find the answers to these questions by experimenting in my lab.

Like in every other lab, we all want to orchestrate our own lab where we can play with our own trials and errors. Without having to cope with the pressure of being right all the fucking time just because you feel being watched, being naked in a lab is diving into the state of not-knowingness. And it’s good. All parts of my body would respond the way it should as I touch the water. It’ll adapt.

These scenes taught me cool stuff about making a lab: 

• A novelist would set out on journey after journey to explore something they wish to understand. Through doubts and fears, she would continue the quest after every truth. And then she would get back to her room, out in the nature or wherever she found her peace, to be able to put her thoughts into words that people would understand. Many other writers like her, they spend years of digesting their ideas, cultivating them and translating them into one common language. Something strong that can be passed onto the next generation.
• My dad used to mumble-teach me about about the legendary Michael Jackson, “He puts himself into the real captivity, listening to 1,000 songs each day and travel to the locals in Africa and South America, trying hard to understand what needs to be delivered through his artwork.” Today, I look deeper and deeper into myself and end up confirming what he told me when I was in 4th grade. The rice fields danced that day, confirming the lesson a father taught his stubborn son.
• I found that hard-working, successful artist like Beyonce takes a long trip to clear her mind and gets back to the recording studio. 7 days a week without even knowing what to record. She just goes there, trying A to Z, finding innovation in her music by singing and exploring new rhythm and technology. Look at where she is now every time she launches something!
• A good business that lasts for as long as it should and could scale starts with a question that’s hard to find the answer to. An entrepreneur digs the hell out of her/his brain to build a product not only what the current market needs, but also for the future market. It requires the real work by getting the hands dirty and years of swimming in the mud. They don’t just dive there just so they want to be recognised in a room full of suits one day. Diving dirty is what it takes.
• Good political leaders, regardless of their scale, they spent years talking to the people they would serve, instead of busy kissing asses in some fancy room to get a wild card to get to a seat in government. Now, there are lots of ways to win the voice and to become whatever we aspire to be. But the road of getting there is what qualifies us as a leader. In the real shitty world, every leader SERVES, not the other way around. They know how to provide an umbrella for the people they serve before the rain comes.
• Researcher. They always need to prove something. Darwin, for instance, his journey to Galapagos led him to questions and brave images of him confronting the world with his theory. The same happened to Galileo and friends. Becoming the first guy or girl to ever found something is just a bonus. But these dedicated souls have found the joy of finding the answer in their lab.

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So. No fucking rush.

But if you think you, or someone you know, are doing it to get rich quick, adding shit to write on your resume and thirsty of publicity and excessive admire, life would be such a waste. I do everything in my life for 21 years because I want to learn. Not the bonus.

My lab

These past few weeks, I’ve been travelling through people. I’ve felt as the luckiest person to have been spending my time with people whose work and personality I’ve adored, whose vision inspires me to wake up every day and shine through the worst storms. I’m truly humbled to feel encouraged to do things for the sake of wanting to be a better person, to master myself, nothing else to be honest. To everyone who’s stepped heir feet into my door, thank you. For having introduced myself to many parts of me I didn’t quite know then.

The world is my lab. Wherever these feet decide to go. Through people and strange places I’ve travelled to, I’m pushing every day to become the lab I wanted where ideas are born and tested, and are finally put into reality. I want to keep challenging myself in every way I can possibly find. I don’t wanna be stuck in 100,000 conferences and not knowing shit I’m doing. I don’t wanna get stuck in selling a product I can barely build. I just wanna be in the lab, burying my smartassness and getting naked and do the real shit. It’s the real cost of learning: to get naked with what I don’t know. Taking what I know off my shoulder and ready for someone else to spit at me and deal with my impatience for something I may not be ready yet. Perhaps, there are a few methods I have never heard of. I swear I’d be naked to hold my tongue, to hold back the anger inside me when someone says “You’re still a kid”. I would always try to listen to best of my abilities. Always try to.

In the lab. I aim to learn from the best wherever I can find. I will always prefer talking to the real stories behind some nice books. I want to understand when and where some string can be pulled. I want to be all ears and learn from their journey. I have my curiosity left aroused with questions begging for some answer. I want to give my trust to every teacher in my life.

I build muscle before I hit the boxing ring. I prepare all the ingredients before I cook something delicious. I’ve swallowed the lesson that nothing good enough is built within a day or a year (unless you believe in Prambanan Temple’s history). Oftentimes when faced with many great opportunities, we choose to leave the lab and chase things that will only distract us from something we’ve wanted to build. It takes 1,000,000 NOs to build something. I am getting back to my lab and do the real work. Always.

The pride of being in some cool clothes could only kill. I’m taking that off and open all the doors to let every stranger come in through those doors and see the most naked version of me. I’d  accept anyone, literally everyone, in my lab as my greatest teacher. This is all for learning.

Let’s get naked.