CTRL + N

There’s a lot of things I have dreamed of doing like:

• wanting to get myself a nice, big Kawasaki motorbike to drive around Jakarta seamlessly – I have not
• wanting to spend a full-on European summer in a coastal town – also no I haven’t stepped foot to date on the continent still
• Wanting to never have to post anything online for ll ger than 6 months and feel guilt-free – stuck in the social loop I seem to be
• wanting to work for a state-owned or prominent MNCs without the mini nepotism handed to you coz you know X or or C

still haven’t done these things but everytime I find myself listening to my friends yap (especially reaching 30, reaching 40, you know the invisible gap) it’s always that they’re lost they hated the idea of who they could have become. The what ifs they must be battling in their sleep. And I hate that to happen to me. So marking the 10th year since I’ve been calling J-town my home, my major epiphany led me to act on my TWO bold dreams I owe to myself:

1. Making music. Shit you actually love.

Yes, holyfuckingairball I just released my debut EP yesterday, consisting of five tracks with cohesive stories from start to end exactly the way I wanted it. Expressed in mixed languages I love speaking. Raw. with sounds that I like. I feel this is the authentic shit I truly owe to myself for a pilot.

I had to rush the rollout, push it weeks ahead of what we initially scheduled due to this and that but we managed. So yay! HUGE milestone for our team. I also have another special on this department later hehe

2. Move abroad. Start anew.

you know everytime I pick a movie to watch I always gravitate towards anything with self discoveries, finding new purposes, moving starting a new life, a new fresh breath of identity. Exactly. This idea I have been clinging to for so long. I didn’t even end up pursuing my undergrad overseas. Nor did I move west when I’m financially comfortable when all my friends have spread wings across the first worlds. Nor did I even get to abuse my privileges to travel the world fully sponsored coz I know that option has always been there for me but I didn’t. I didn’t wanna. I stayed for various reasons. I was marinating my half-cooked chicken.

Now I have. All things considered after months of decision-making process took place end of last year, this finally happens with zero noise. Only my family knew and then close friends I consider extended family (less than 10) that had just learned one day prior to departing. kind of a big dick move I know but I hate the idea of farewells, to be the one leaving it all behind.

So I did both this week. And they’re perfectly on theme: CTRL + N, starting over.

Gahh let’s wander. Lets get lost. BIG DEBT to self paid off.